FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!

Oh my!!..its been awhile since i update my blog.
im just to lazy to update it.
yes same old reason.
by the way im just updating since i cant take it anymore!!!
i wanna let it all out..
let it go..
garrrr~~~

I hate the college internet
My house dont have internet
I dont have enough money to pay my road tax and insurance
My license is gonna expired next month
I eat once per day just to survive
I didnt answer with confidence for my tax exam
She used all her money already and i mean ALL
I fucking hate her
I hate my life

I hate my life

I hate my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Im backkk!!

Sorry peeps for not updating my blog for so long. Well one of the reason is because i was super lazy and trying to enjoy my one month holiday recently. A lot have happened, good and bad. Lets start with the good things first shall we?

So holiday for one month. Yummy, for the first time i got myself one month holiday due to early exam. Spent most of the time with my sayang since both of us were on holiday at the same time. We went here and there, slept at her place most of the time since u know whats happening with me and my mum. Ill get to that later k? One more thing, i went to the british council education exhibition and got myself a interview with cardiff university and the guy from international office said that he'll try to make me an offer base on my previous result. Hopefully i get incase i didnt get any other offer. Im planning to apply to further my study to UK since HND is widely accepted there comparing to aussie. Pray for me so i can get the offer. I just cant wait to get out from this country. HAIH~

Now, for the drama. To update u guys, yes im still having drama with one of the resident back "home". And i thought things would get better but instead its worse now. I dont know when things will get better but luckily i still have my sisters that i can depend on and few of my friends that still have the courtesy of hearing my problems. Oh and not forgetting my dila :D Thanx sayang for being there for me. Me love u. heeee~ Another bad news though, im still unemployed!!! GARRR. How the hell they get jobs? I thought its gonna be easy. I wanna work in secret recipe but tak dapat :( Final place to find jobs will be seremban. Its kinda far but i need to make some sacrifice to get some money. HUH! Maybe im gonna go try and ask tomorrow or tuesday.

I need to start writing back though. Need to complete my personal statement for the ucas application. Need to have some kind of momentum so that i can write one hell of a personal statement so that they'll be amazed by me. LOL. Yea i know, need to correct a lot of my grammar though. I know its bad.

Help! im in hell

This week is the final week for the sememster, yeay!! yea right yeay!! why? since this the final week, lecturers have place the assignments due date in this week. YEA!! 3 out of 4 assigment i have to pass it up in this week. Meaning im in hell temporary for this week. ROARRR~~

Some people know how lazy i can be sometimes and how slow i can go. Doing this assignment making me feel more malas!!~ cant wait for this weekend though. AAR concert with my baby! wohoo~

So the chance of me working this holiday is high! Things are not getting better, it still the same like before and she hasnt call me yet but just text me about the party my cousins are throwing. Like i care and gonna go.

My sister advise me to work in chillis this holiday. She said the pay is good and she know someone that can help me to get a job there. But its so far from college :( And im scared i wont be able to carry the tray. hahaha, u know how big the tray can be in chillis and knowing me, im skinny and dont have that much energy. lol. But no worries, ill try to work out this couple of weeks and hope i can do it. Plus if im working at chillis, i can learn to mix some drink with the bartender and it would be a useful experience if im goin to uk. Then i can go work at a bar there, well thats what my sister ask me to do. Its a good idea though. We'll see how it goes :)

Can things be from bad to worst?

Can things get any worse than this?.Hmm, let me think, YEA!! My sister called just now when im in class. Right at that moment i saw her number,i kn0w something is not right. And my guess is once again, CORRECT! 'She' did it again, doing her stupid stuff once again.

OMG!!. Im so mad at her. I was being happy and hype up today due to what happen the night before and suddenly this thing showed up and destroy all my happy mood. Can october be so bad this year?. All the ghost, can u stop giving me bad karma? And when this problem show up, then only 'he' want to talk to me and complain about 'her'. WTF? first u ditched me, then now u want to complain bout her to me? ARRRGGGHHHH~~~

Im tired, im stress, i just cant take this anymore and i know my sisters feel the same way too. I got assignment to pass up, got exam to study and these things just make it worse to do so.

Msn today and my sister told me that beyonce's concert is postponed! wtf? i was waiting for that concert for a while now. Im so gonna get drunk this weekend. I dont care~~~

To be lifeless or strong, that is the question

Today someone called me and told me he is in penang
Playing black jack, gambling i assume.
What else you were doing in hard rock hotel.

In my heart, i was like WTF bastard?
You were in kl and u didnt tell me.
And the next thing i know, you're in penang gambling?

I know why u dont wanna tell me you were here.
I know ur scared that ill ask something from u that u dont want to give.
I know u can but u dont want to.
Thats why you've been avoiding me all this while.

I was suppose to be imune from all this crap already
This is not your first time doing this
But yet im still sad.

I dont like u anymore.
I dont care bout u anymore.
FUCK YOU!
Just fuck off and die will u?
Thought of relying on u
But now i can see it clearly, i cant.

Its hard enough that i have to deal with the current problem.
And u just make it worst for me.
Thanx alot.

Exam docket!

Was so effing boring just now doing my auditing assignment, yea, its not finished yet.
Got a bit more to do but tons of research.
I dont like facts! Its so boring and book oriented.
Cant even use my own word to explain it.
I can but its just to hard to make up your own word.
Ok2, back to the main story.
Took my exam docket and my exam will be on 4th and 5th
Wohhoooo!!~ meaning one month of holiday
yea, wohoo to who is going home.
Me? I think im gonna stuck here for the holidays.
For those who knew already what happened to me know the story.
So i guess im gonna stay here for a month.
Wow! for the first time i got a one month break, im gonna stuck here in college.
How pathetic can my life be?
But dont think so im gonna just sit around here for one month.
I think im gonna get a job and just start working till i graduate.
If things are still the same like now.
If not, i think ill just go back to my home then.

Wish me luck

The weekend

Weekend was spent with old and new friends :) I didnt do much on friday though except stay home and complete my auditing draft till 4 something. Friday night i went to giant alone as usual to buy some groceries in case i get hungry at night, Gonna gain weight remember? Cant afford to left my stomach empty. XD

Although raya fever has gone off, the openhouse are still on and there were 6 open house during that weekend but i can only afford to go 5. Sorry yana, was really tired and sleepless. Saturday was spent with them, which most of them are not in the same class as me but we are in the same orientation years back. Went three house that saturday, kick off with paan's house in seri kembangan at lunch time. YEAY, free lunch :D

Then we head off to kinrara area which im not very familiar and excited to know new places. One more area added in my GPS brain. LOL. Food was awesome, Lakse at paan's house, then nasi ayam at wafi's and mee kari at min's. My stomach was so full i got hungry back at 2am.

After those openhouses, i went to bukit jelutong to meet up with the old buddies. Naim, pacad, ranie and ayan. Just drink at mamak and catching up. Its been awhile since i hang out with them. Then i thought of going back to college but someone ask the question that i do usually reject. "wanna meet up or something?" So we hung out till dawn, took her for a little tour at 5 which is a lil bit weird since i dont live there. :D

Sunday!, got back to college around 7 and i almost sleep in the car while driving on the way back but i dont sleep that easily so yea, reached college safely and straight to bed. Someone called me at 11 am and after couldnt get my sleep balik. GARRR~~
Got online for abit while waiting the clock to reach 2pm because that was the time im leaving my house to continue my openhouse spree. First house was at kajang, nisa's house and kitty's at bangi. Thank god it was in that area, i mean the area which is near to my college. Got to start saving and got no more money to go further than my college. As usual, at kitty's house, paku was there and as usual i have prepare myself for the expected and just ignore that bastard and his gorilla.

Got back at 7 and was freaking tired, canceled with yana since i got no more energy to go anywhere else. Thought of resting my eyes for a sec but i accidentally overslept till the next morning without touching a bit on my auditing assignment. Got 12 hours of sleep and felt great the next day until i remembered that i have to pass up auditing that day :(

Unintended meetings

The other day i was hungry and sleepy at the same time. I dont know whether to sleep first or to buy food. I said to myself "okay just sleep first then ill eat something when i wake up". Turn out i cant sleep because i was quite hungry at that time. So start my car and head off to beranang to pack food alone as usual. Got there and couple of my classmate were there eating as well. Not that i dont like them or anything. I just feel awkward with them abit for what they have done to me last year.

Im still trying to forgive them but i will not forgive them that fast. Thats just not me, once u did something to me, the pain is gone but the scar wont. So anyways they invited me to eat together since they saw me all alone. And one of them invited me to his openhouse this sunday. I might come if i dont have any plans or anything. Its not good to not come when people invite u for their openhouse. I know that jackass will be there but oh well ive imune myself to be in one place with the person that i dont like. Sometimes we just have to improvise and adapt the environment.

Lifeless

My life is so empty right now
i can sense it and yet i did nothing to overcome this problem
Im so lazy nowadays
Lazy to do anything good
My assignment that i have to pass up yesterday
Yea, its not finished yet
Thats how lazy i am.
i've never become so lazy like this

Fuck it, who cares right?
Im just gonna be so quite till some people will forget my existence
Its better that way.
Im so dead, so lifeless now
I wanna buy a new bottle of black label and drink it till im dead drunk

Hahaha, so emo this post
but yea, its true anyway.
Ive given up, ive lost my ways

Officially laying low on everyones radar
except for my collegemate la which i have to see them every weekend.

Deja vu

Oh my effing god!.
She fucking did it again!!.
Just when things was going smoothly and peacefully.
She started to do the same things like before.

WOMAN, PLEASE STOP BEING SO VULNERABLE.
WOMAN, PLEASE STOP BEING SO STUPID.
WOMAN, PLEASE STOP BEING SO BLIND.
AND FINALLY, WOMAN, JUST STOP THIS NONSENSE.
YOUR MAKING PEOPLE LIKE ME GO CRAZY!!!!!

I dont know why she is so stubborn?!!
Im sick and tired with all this bullshit!!
The same old bullshit everytime pulak tu!!
I tell you, i know its not good to make u cry.
But sometimes things need to be handle by extreme measure.
I know we just celebrate raye recently but somethings need to be done so that she will realize that all of this crap is a big joke for her.

Someone is gonna explode this weekend =(

Blast from the past!

Last time when i was in primary school, i used to like one of the girls in my class. To be honest i used to like alot of girls last time and still is. :D Me and my family used to shift around all the time, we dont stay long in one place. The maximum is 3 years. So every new school i went in i always ended liking some one in class. Sorry, cant help it. I think it runs in the blood. LOL

I was facebooking just now and i come across my old schoolmate/classmate. I used to like her as well. Back in the days she was quite pretty but i dont know what happen, now shes less pretty than before. hahaha, I was surprised though to see her now. She changed a lot. I added her last year i think but just recently i got to see her full picture and yea, im in shock.

Something that i dont like

You know when people uses some other people name to get what he/she want?
Yea, i dont like that type of person.
Its so wrong and making you look dumber.
I know that type of person though.
She said she's the blablabla, and poof she gets what she wants.

Thats just not how life is.
You cant just take your grappling gun, shoot it and soar up to the roof.
You need to take the stairs.
Start from scratch.

Selamat berpuasa people!

And thus ramadhan has once again arrive after one long year of eat,smoke and drink freely.
This year of puase is so dull!
As some people know i live all by myself in college and my new housemate balik pun for sleep only.
Then when he wakes up, he went straight to the house infront of mine which most of his friends stayed.
So time berbuka, left me only, all by myself, bukak puase sorang2 :(
so sad right?
but yea, i dont mind la.
mati pun sorang2 kan :P
currently i tak tinggal lagi my puase..
but i think its because i sleep alot..heee
im tired ok from the assignments..

anyways! just to wish all of you guys selamat berpuase..
sorry lambat update..
no internet at kolej and was freaking busy with work :/

Ups & Downs

Things aren't going so smoothly in life right now. And yet, still a lot of my friends ask me hows life and shit. Well to tell you the truth, its not that good. at one time, im thinking about 3 or 4 things to do. Yes, sometimes i looked happy but honestly im not. There's a lot in my mind now.

Tons of assignments on my table that need to be done, couple of them due next week and college is not helping that much by having problem with the internet connection. I have to wait till i got back to then only i can do my assignments. Yes i can do it with books but sorry, i dont really like to be in the library, staring at all the books just makes me sleepy. Well need to be more discipline with my timing and i bet i can finish it by this sunday. Hopefully.

Theres a lot more but why share if theres no one has the solution. pfft~

MTV world stage

OH-MA-GA!!!!...mtv world stage rock weyh!!...i got the backstage passes and drank beers with tyson ritter. Oh!, he was so funny and cool. Then met with pixie lott, guess what? i taught her how to dance zapin. hahaha, it was fun!!~~ hoobastank rock the stage and we manage to smoke some weed together. GARRRR!!! it was awesome!!

7000 plus show up at sunway lagoon. It was damn pack and the rail dividing the mosh pit pecah okay! but i had a blast!!..

oh wait, scratch that, i mean all of that. hahaha!, i didnt go actually. Well that was the plan but last minute i sold my tickets to someone else. I dont like crowded place and swine flu just make it worst. And someone else didnt go. oh well, thats life. We miss things.

Hmmmm

d.i.li.h??
YES!!!
d.i.lo.h??
not yet
maybe soon?
d.i.h.do.w.h?
Right now, yea

Sorry merapu, i want to tell people but i dont want to let them know straight away
so they have to figure it out by themselves :D

Gadoh by komas (2009)

I just watched this movie moments ago and theres a combination of comedy, educational and seriousness in this movie.

This movie is about a gang of student both malay and chinese who have issue with each other. And they always end up punching some one in the face to settle stuff. One of the teachers there invite her old collegemate to teach these students some manners and integration through theater club.

To me its a good movie and funny too. Especially during one part when the teacher asked them to express their hatred. This one guy made me laugh for hours because he said "orang cina makan babi, pengotor, berak tak penah basuh" "bangun pagi, tak mandi pagi. badan bau busuk" HAHAHA!! with his facial expression, i bet ull laugh too.

Its damn funny and yet u can learn something from this movie. At the end, they'll say something what real school did do. If you want to watch it, i can pass you the movie. :)

All alone.....

So this semester will begin with me alone in my room. My last roomate has finished his studies and left me all alone in that room. How bout my other housemate? well, im not that close with him but we do talk some time about football and those typical question, "takde class ke?", "habis paper bile?", "tak balik this weekend". And some time he comes into my room just to have one cigarette. I dont mind, im not that stingy. hehehe :P

But for sure im gonna miss my previous roomate. We start of slow but as u leave with someone for 3 years or more, u start to be closer than before. Although my roomate is totaly the opposite of me, we manage to live together under one roof for 3 years without any problems. After all those years, i see him as my brother, he looks young but actually he's 3 years older than me.

Oh well, like i told my friends, people always leave. You cant stay with one crowd for the rest of your life. you need to meet new people as well especially when the current people around u have move on.

Im gonna miss him but look at the bright side right??, the room is totally mine now. Now i can sleep on the bottom bed where there will be no lights right above my head. hahaha. :D

Bye bye holidayyyy~~~

So this is like the last weekend i have before new semester kick off this monday. I went to register myself couple of days ago and boy im very happy with my latest result. I was shocked because i thought i have failed couples of subject last semester but my mistake. Im not gonna let people know what i get for my result but its very satisying to me. So you be the judge.

Holiday is almost over and as usual there were ups and down, what to do when life is like a rollercoaster. But honestly, i enjoyed my holiday and i hope my collegemates did as well. 3 weeks of no studies and only pure entertainment. hah! but i didnt get to go to perak like i planned. Hmm, maybe next month ill have the time and most impotant thing, $$$ to go there. Promised someone i will go there. hehehe

For me 3 weeks of holiday is just nice, not too much time wasted and not too much time used. Like i said, just nice rather than having holiday till 2 or 3 months. Damn! some student can die from boredom. Unless they have tons of money and can go eurotripping. haih.

Oh well, cant wait to go back to college and study something new, oh my, i sound so nerdy. heh, and cant wait to know some new gossips around campus. :D

Kelantan trip!!

So i found out that my dad is ditching his 2nd wife and gonna leave kl and shift to kelantan. It was a last minute thing and my family asked me to find someone to company me during the trip because we're gonna drive two cars there since theres not enough space for my dad stuff. The first choice was caped but he couldnt make it cause his dad didnt give the green light to go. Thank god my oold schoolmates willing to ditch his college and company me. :D

The trip took us about 8 hours to drive from kl to kelantan but this include our pit stop for makan2 and kencing semua. LOL, it was fun!! i drove to kelantan all by myself since my friend, joe was not that confident to drive long distance. Hes more to riding motorcycle than driving car.

I stayed at my grandma's house because she was all alone at her house but my dad stayed at my aunty's house. so yeah. :P I had fun at kelantan but the trip was more to business than pleasure so i dont have that much time to shops for stuff. But we did went to the beach, just to taste some new air right from the shore.

On the way back, we didnt used the road the one we driving to kelantan, we did detour, driving by the beach through Terengganu and Pahang. Joe and my family was saying " tak jumpe wawa ke?" right~~~ wawa was my ex back when i was 15,16 and she lived in terengganu. Oh well, that was history.

Conclusion!!, it was damn fun although the company was only one friend. I pity my dad though, he have to stay there since theres no one that can help him in kl. I almost cried the day im going back to kl. but kene la tahan kan, ade kawan kat sebelah. hehehe :P

Oh ya, heres the picture we took there :D

This is my grandma's house :D

A&W terengganu where i went dating with wawa.

Budak skuter terengganu. just for fun

Pantai cahaye bulan!!

One of the pit stop, this was at gue musang, can u see my tired face?..LOL

here's the story, lori masok gaung, due crane nak kene angkat lori tu, end of story

oh people, thats my dad. harap2 i tak botak cam die nnt, hahaha :P